Date: 16 May, 2017
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: Planet 856b; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

Hey guys, I’m back. My request to Command finally came in! I got some reinforcements and an armed exploration crew arrived this morning. I also got some new equipment, like a recon drone, some analysis equipment, and a small shipment of firearms. They called it a shipment, but that’s exaggerating… It’s just a semi-auto Gauss rifle and a mag pistol. They did send a fair amount of ammo though, so I can’t complain too loudly…

Guess what though? I somehow got approved for that powered exploration exoskeleton. It must have had something to do with those flying pigs I saw earlier (note to self: get psychoanalysis ASAP) but it just came in! I did get some weird looks from the other crew members, and I was giving myself those same looks. Do you know how much it costs to make those things? I’m not gonna say, but it probably rhymes with one mecillion. AKA, a helluva lot of cash. I’m probably only getting one of these, so I’d better use it sparingly and consider getting a degree in repairing these things.

Anyway, the armed escort has set up a defensive perimeter around this camp, and I’m pushing the papers for me to go out on an exploration mission in the next couple of days, see how well the exoskeleton works out. I also set up an image processor on this computer, so I can send some authorized drawings over to you guys.

Also, I don’t think I told you guys, but Josh and Sara both got back to the camp fine, Josh is still recovering from the ravine incident, and Sara just got replaced by a new Medical Officer, who’s doing the best medical work he can to get Josh back on his feet soon, but he’s gonna pull through.

Anyway, I gotta go. I need to finish the paperwork on the expedition, and see what else I can do to prepare for that. It’s weird to see how much this camp has gone from a small three-person thing to a full-on military base in the course of two days. I guess we’re starting up a new version of the minutemen from the Revolutionary War. Yes, I do study history, there’s not much else to do up here.

Anyway, this is Class 5 Science Officer Alexis Owen signing off for today.

CONNECTION TERMINATED

Date: 15 May, 2017
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: UGSA EXPLORER 6; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

 

Hello, this is Alexis Owen. I know I haven’t posted in a while, and I’m sorry about that. Just wanted to let you know I’m still here, still kicking. I’ve just been so busy with tests and research. I’m finishing a test of some organic material we found in that ravine a year or so ago… wow, I really haven’t posted in a while.

Anyway, I found something strange about it: it seems to conduct a very small amount of radiation. Contrary to what my new intern thought, radioactivity is not why it was glowing, that’s just some kind of bio-luminescence to attract all the other little beasties, either to a hive, where it would be eaten, or for it to eat a bit of this stuff, where it would go all the way through its digestive system, intact, and spread to other areas. This stuff is creepy in every sense of the word.

I also found out that there are some other kinds of creatures here, which could be expected, given the planet’s atmosphere, flora, and clean, drinkable water.

Main command  prohibited me or any of the other exploration crew from exploring any more of the planet, due to the ravine incident a year ago, but I can’t really do anything without actually exploring anything, so I’ve been looking at the planetscape from afar, trying to get any info I could.

Man, you should really see the database entries I’ve been making, because I couldn’t thoroughly investigate anything. Here, listen to this: “Entry 112: Plant wildlife: Specimen 60: Plant has a pale purple-blue color. Height unknown, estimated to be anywhere from 1 to 6 feet tall. Theorized to be hazardous when ingested, but not tested due to inability of investigation.” That basically summarizes every entry I have in here.

Good news though, I put in a requisition last week for new crew members to be assigned to this planet, and they’re coming in tomorrow! I requested an armed escort and heavy backup, just in case things get ugly. I also asked for three extra units of powered exploration exoskeletons, but that’s coming in… roughly when pigs start flying. I’ll let you know when that happens.

Another thing, if anyone reading this is thinking of joining a space exploration crew, I wanna say don’t. It’s really dull up here, and there’s nobody to talk to. Somehow I managed to get a few of satellites set up around this planet, and they got me the only reason I am still down here, and not in a makeshift shuttle back to the UGSA: ladies and gents, I have Wi-Fi. I managed to download a bunch of games onto this computer, and have beaten all the Fallout games, most of Assassin’s Creed, Goat Simulator, with all the DLC, I Am Bread, and am getting really into this roguelike game called Cataclysm Dark Days Ahead. It’s really fun, but kinda tough to get used to the controls.

Anyway, I’ll be happy to talk about video games and such with anyone who wants to, because there’s really not many people to talk to here. I don’t have a spouse or boyfriend, or anyone who wants to contact me here, so all I’m left with is the crappy artificial intelligence thing I have in my tent with me, and my other crew members down here. Hope they send over some PR people over.

Anyway I gotta sign out for the night; it’s getting dark, and I have to brief the newcomers tomorrow, maybe we can get an expedition sent out. Talk to you guys soon!

CONNECTION TERMINATED

Oh my God. I found it! Yes! Oh my God, yes, yes yes! *shuffle shuffle* Yes! I found it! Oh my God…. Wait, is it still on? Yeah… How long was it on…? Great. Sorry you had to hear me just express how excited I was, I swear I didn’t know it was on. I swear. Just gotta get the hell OUT OF HERE, and I’ll explain it all later, just as soon as I’m safe. *zzzzzzzip!* *chink* ALL RIGHT! Hey, whats… that… oh, WHAT?!?!?! HEY!!! SARA!!! GET OVER HERE!!! WHERE’S JOSH???… … …oh.

Josh is down, just gotta go get him. Sara’s dragging him right now, he’s got a broken leg and a concussion, so I guess I’ll pick up his legs… Hrrrrn… All right, let’s skedaddle. The ropes are over there, so let’s just  clip him in…

… … …

Hey, Alex?

Yeah?

What’s… what’s that sound? It sounds like… skittering.

Don’t pay attention to it… yeah. All right, I’ve got his cardi… cardiovent… HIS CHEST BUCKLES in. Could’ja kinda… hurry up with the legs…?

I… I’m trying as hard as I can… Got it! All right, just gotta send him up… Okay, now help me with my harness.

All right, this strap goes here, this one goes here…

Hey Alex? The noises… are getting closer… a lot closer.

Don’t worry about it! Hey, don’t look over there! Focus on this!

Alex, it’s glowing back there. And it’s getting brighter. Are you almost done with my harness?

Yeah, yeah, almost… There! Hey, what did I say? Don’t look back!

Alex, I don’t think you’ll make it. I can see these spider things crawling over here. They’re not too far away, either.

Yeah, yeah, I’ll hurry up. Just GET THE HELL UP THERE!!!

… … …

Damn. I hate these buckles… can’t count for anything in a rough sitch. Oh CRAP!!!

TRANSMISSION HALTED FOR 327 MINUTES

TRANSMISSION RESUMED

Huh. Huh huh huh. HA HA HAAA! Phew! And no, if you’re wondering, I am not going crazy. I just escaped from the MOST FREAKING TERRIFYING situation ever! So, about that whole “oh crap” moment, all these things just swarmed around me, so I grabbed the ropes and started pulling myself up. And man, can those things that swarmed me jump, I mean, seriously. NOTHING needs legs like that. So anyway, here I am, pulling myself up from this chasm thing, with all these things jumping after me, trying to do who KNOWS what, and I find this cave, so I’m all like “hey, it’s a better idea then just waiting out on this wall,” so I get in here and go all the way to the back, and these things actually build a wall of glowy stuff, and I don’t move. Like, I barely even breathed. I waited for, like… 5 hours. Dang. So, I waited here for these things to come in and eat me, then they just walk away. Like, they’re only 5 feet away from me, and they just walk away.

Man, I just looked at my watch, it’s REALLY late, but I don’t know if I can ever go to sleep. For now, this is Alexis Owen, signing off, but probably not for too long.

Bye.

Hey, Alexis here. I just woke up from a really good sleep, and I’ve gotta go to the other end of the ravine.  It’s still dark and foreboding down here, but I’ve got my light, so I guess that helps. I scanned the blue thing I picked up yesterday, but it doesn’t show any sign of life. Like, any. Not plant life nor fungus nor animal… it’s not even a rock or anything on earth. I mean, I’m definitely keeping it, don’t get me wrong, but I have no clue what it is.

So, I’m still walking down this ravine, still haven’t found anything except for a few rocks that were probably mined by the geologist grad student. Although, I haven’t found anything… or anyone. I haven’t heard nor seen nor even smelled the other crew. Maybe they found either a cave, or they fell asleep, or they fell off a cliff or something… hey, don’t judge me, I’m just considering all the options.

Alright, I walked for a while now, and I still haven’t seen anything. No blue vein things, no fungi, no nothing. No crew. I don’t think I’ve even found the point we entered the ravine. I  think that I took a wrong turn somewhere? But where could I have turned? Up? Maybe I–

TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED.

CAUSE: UNKNOWN.

 

Date: 20 April, 2016
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: UGSA EXPLORER 6; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

*sigh*

Finally made it to the ground. Sorry it took a while to get back to you, the canyon… sorry, I’m being corrected, the ravine, is pretty dark, it’s got some rocks and stuff down here, and it’s actually softer earth than the stuff on the surface. It took us a while to get down here, it was much much deeper than we anticipated, so we had to actually sleep, suspended in mid-air, on the side of a really deep ravine, and hope we didn’t fall off. So yeah, I totally didn’t have nightmares, and even if I did, (I didn’t, just for the record,) they totally weren’t about falling. Totally.

Anyway, we’re finally at the bottom of the ravine, and my suit light is on, because it’s really, really dark down here. Well, my sensors are on, my sample collecting equipment is out and ready, and I have absolutely no clue what the heck to do. So I’m just gonna walk along this canyon until I find something interesting, then I’m gonna collect a sample, then continue that until I reach the end of the ravine. Which, by the looks of it, is not gonna be too easy. Well, here goes nothing.

BROADCAST FROZEN FOR 63 MINUTES.

Okay, so I found something. It’s this little glow-y thing in the middle of the wall, and it looks like a little kinda vein.Eugh. It’s blue, glow-y, and pulsing. Like, as in a heart. I’m gonna just take a sample here… *tink* *tink* *tink* *squish* Blegh. I pulled it out of the wall, and it squished. Like that Borax slime when you squeeze it between your fingers. I’m just gonna go gag in a corner now… for a while. Anyway, it’s in the little specimen jar, I just put it in one with holes in it so that it could breathe, because I don’t know what the hell it is, so yeah, just gonna tuck that away, and… set. Alright, gonna keep on walking, hopefully I don’t find another one of those things.

BROADCAST FROZEN FOR 374 MINUTES.

Alright-y then. I’ve made it back to the other end of this canyon, collected about seven other samples, and I am seeing more of those squish-things. Now, they could be hazardous, so I’ll just walk back down this cavern and find a place to sleep.

On a whole other topic, I think we’re either on a small planet, or a baseball thrown by a Frizbee player, because the days are much shorter here. But the star that in our galaxy we would call the sun is pretty small, so I’m guessing we’re on the outskirts of town here.

Well, I’m finally sorta far from the blue bio- or botaniluminescent (I’ve never heard that word used either, I just wanted a scientific sounding word for “could be plant life, could be animal life, but it’s glowing.”) I’m just gonna lie down here and go to sleep, then go back to the place we started, then go the other way. *yawn* Well, live long and prosper. Alicia out.

TRANSMISSION HALTED.

Date: 19 April, 2016
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: UGSA EXPLORER 6; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

Hey, Alexis here. So, we’re officially un-bored and ready to shine. We’re about to explore this canyon thing we landed near, which, from your side of this message, sounds awesome. But you try to hook a cable into this freaking-flat-as-all-heck-and-probably-made-of-steel-and-some-other-kind-of-super-strong-metal thing we call ground here, then try to (safely) climb down into this thing that’s about 23 miles wide and God knows how deep without having to change the Natural Waste compartment on your space suit a few times. So yeah. If you thought you were having a bad day, think of me, a 23-year-old science grad student just about to break her back and be paralyzed lying on the bottom of a canyon in space, probably being eaten by an alien animal while I’m still alive. Well, on that cheery thought, I’m gonna equip my phaser and set it to “stun.” Y’know, federal issues and all that. I’m gonna try to dig a hole in this here metal ground, put another metal thing in it, then climb into a hole and hopefully not die. I’ll get back to you later.

TRANSMISSION HALTED.

Date: 18 April, 2016
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: UGSA EXPLORER 6; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

Hi. Alexis again. Today, I’m gonna go to the planet below us, which is either extremely awesome (you know, the whole “exploring a whole new freaking possibly alien infested planet” kinda awesome,) or utterly terrifying. I mean, think of the things that could go wrong: the pod could crash, the whole entire ship could crash, I could have a random heart attack and DIE, I could… Never mind. I’m gonna go down to this planet, and if I think of the stuff that could go wrong, I’m gonna be a veggie (and not a tasty one, either… pity.) Well, I’m gonna get into this here little space suit thingy, hang on a sec.

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST RESUMED.

Okay. So I’m back, with this little communicator in this space helmet I’m wearing, and I’m loading into the ship now. It’s… really not that big. It’s this little cyllindrical space ship-looking thing, no outlying wires or anything, like in those other sci-fi shows, apparently that was a health hazard. I don’t know. Pretty safe now, I guess. I’m just gonna strap in and set out, which can be boring, so I’ll just cut the transmission…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST ON HOLD…

BROADCAST FROZEN FOR 190 MINUTES.

REACQUIRING SIGNAL…

BROADCAST RESUMED.

…Okay. Just landed. We waited for, like, five hours (probably less,) then we unloaded and got our special equipment-thingy that helps us with random stuff, and I wanted to stand and look at the environment for a while, but I only got, like, ten seconds (probably more,) when I had to go and set up this tent-thingy to kinda keep us in a little encampment and not run away, I guess. Well, when we got here, it was, like, 10:00 pm, and we set up for about an hour, so I’m gonna get to bed. I’ll eventually send you a photo of this place, when I have enough energy to get the *yawn* ah, the video camera working. When I can do that, I’ll even make a little Instagram Space™ blog and show you all about it. Well, I’m outta here. See you in the morning.

TRANSMISSION HALTED.

Date: 17 April, 2016
Passenger Name: Alexis Owen
Passenger Identification Code: 866523A
Passenger Access Password: ******
Sent Location: UGSA EXPLORER 6; Ebenezer Galaxy
Received Location: Earth

Hello. My name is Alexis Owen. I’m a Class 5 Science Officer aboard the U.G.S.A. Explorer 6, a shuttle sent out into space a really really long time ago to explore this terrestrial planet (that means it’s kinda like Earth,) that we affectionately call UT7-FX3. We think it could have life on it, but we’re not too sure right now. I’m gonna go out there tomorrow and take some samples. I’ll keep you posted on what happens.

TRANSMISSION HALTED.